sentinel III

Lately I have noticed
how people place sentinels in front of their words.

Many do not move themselves
to regard your unpopular view,
but rather, fix their sights on words
Suddenly unguarded.

Loose threads hang off my own,
Offending threads on unfinished edges
that require urgent pruning before I may clear my name.

(Why are things not more True?
Correct and True are not the same.)

Strange, though,
That I should need to measure my words, daily, with the greatest precision,
Percolate them until no more coarseness exists,
Without further hint of ambiguity,
To keep alive some popular refrain.

(Why are things not more True?
Correct and True are not the same.)

Truth moves stagnantly,
amid a virulence of lies
It’s never as interesting, is it?

How is it,
that without these sentinels I keep,
my words might be commandeered
and bent to win a different game?

(Why are things not more True?
Correct and True are not the same.)

Evening and I’m home, alone, unheard, the sentries dismissed
I’m patrolling the words I shaped that day
Some made unrecognizable
superimposed onto pain.

(Why are things not more True?
Correct and True are not the same.)

See the sentinels guarding others’ words
See how you, too, might’ve made them
your own.

cristian-newman-468917-unsplash.jpg

poké bowls

Crayola-green eda
mame bean
young spry newly-shelled
alongside tunachunks deep musclyred
nearly alive
with con
tour lines.

Oily gems over sticky rice
nestled near avo
cado moons.
My pacific loot.

Brimful of shredded beet
root pickle
stashed between wakimi weed
and sesame,
a heap of cured gin
ger, corallypink
with these cucumber ring
lets, like hairlocks,
tickling at ripe clumps of roe.

the parts are always better than the whole,
according to my deconstructed poké bowl.

 

A large and rather beautiful antelope (lie down in your own doing)

Today on talk radio,
the host spoke of an oryx
Not a bird, he said, to someone who thought it was.
A large and rather beautiful antelope.

Something about this caught me.
To be a large and rather beautiful antelope
doesn’t seem like such an unreasonable thing to be.

Ink-stained interloper
in the most beautiful of ways
Unleashed in the world,
casting long shadows on the desert
hoofing up holes in the sand
only to kneel to no one
and lie, cool,
in your own doing.

-jules
portrait-of-an-oryx-3103934_1280.jpg

I am so uncomfortable all the time.

I am so uncomfortable all the time.

Every morning, I cut the pattern of my discomfort from fabrics of chagrin, ambition, shame, boredom, fatigue, sensitivity, anger, intellect, hope, desire and indifference.

The texture of my discomfort shears against my skin. I occupy rooms, but barely.

It feels as though there is not much of me with which to occupy anything.

There is more of others. Others who fill rooms with their generous spirits. They are clamorous and demented, supplied with talents foreign to me:

Like laughing, loudly
opening wide their mouths and throats and just
laughing
without constraint.

I only have so much air in my lungs for laughing.
Most things in life are not funny enough for that much air.

I am not a serious person
but I also am.

How do I explain that to anyone?

I can’t help the words I use. I like words. More than pictures.
Try making friends in 2018
with those credentials.

-jules

 

 

Thirstland

I OMEN

Until now, no one spoke of dams:
chalk bowl rain-catchers
big providing things
big contained walled things
bolted fonts, ready sources.

Until now, in my city,
there was little cause for talk –
for naming, counting, measuring, predicting
for remembering, blaming, urging, pleading.
Years we forgot the tardive rains
until our own,
owed,
owned
water
began to ebb away.

The great dam, on the river-without-end, is ending.
Not too long ago there were speedboats on it.
People cannot sell those speedboats
fast enough.

The fire-blown mountain passes
brindled with blackened brush,
are unscenic
unfitting
unprofiting
as the dead lawns in the suburbs.

In the deep, on the Flats,
in the Place of the Sun and the Place of Moon,
the taps are communal (it sounds better than it is).
People there wash in buckets, anyway
and so will we, soon,
when our tubercular shower heads splutter, cough
and our swimming pools vanish into the ground
as the Sun drinks his fill of what’s ours.

I live in a city that was long thirsty
before the water ran out.

II LEVELING

Is this how the city I live in
will finally be equal?

Trembling on the vast waste
of one, singular experience

when all it’s ever known is water
when all it’s ever known is drought.

What is the new normal?
when before,
normal for most was buckets and wind and heat
when before,
normal for some was flood and fountain and flow?

III THIRST

My city is a refreshment station
that provides no relief.

Those with their own pieces of ground
drill deep to loosen the springs beneath.
To justify the verdure of their lawns.

In the suburbs, competition soars,
between those who’ve never known thirst.
Like golf
but higher stakes.

We forget that it’ll not be long
until our comforts are made useless,
bodily functions brim to the bowl,
and smells tell others
things about us
that,
before this
were so much easier to mask,
And the queues for life, for water,
start to form.

IV MEMORY

I live a city that is touched
by two independent oceans.
Not a drop to drink.

The time has come.
I have lived to see the day when inflatable pools
became contraband,
Alive to witness
patrons clawing each other for table water at restaurants,
gazing on the lawns of their neighbors
assessing their greenness
and whether any one was green enough,
to raise the alarm.

The public fountain
where children and drunk businessmen used to bathe,
stands silent in the square
A dirty car’s a badge of pride
fingers slide
in the dirt more often now,
drawing what you can think of
on rear windows.

wash me

can’t,
sorry.

Sonnet 8 | Curriculum Vitae

Author’s Note: This Sonnet was inspired by the list made by painter Agnes Martin, whose own menial, often oddball jobs provided her with the boredom she needed to be creative.

I have worked:

  1. As a salesperson at a crystals shop in a bird park.
  2. As a waitron just once.
  3. As a volunteer dog-walker.
  4. In a cat hospital, at an animal shelter.
  5. Teaching someone the International Phonetic Alphabet.
  6. As an au pair.
  7. As a freelance writer for a doomsday prepper website.
  8. As a volunteer facilitator for special needs kids.
  9. As an on-and-off writer for a local travel company.
  10. In a witch’s costume, promoting a Disney Channel movie.
  11. As kidtrepreneur, selling shitty microwaved candles to my neighbors.
  12. As a gift wrapper in a children’s toy shop.
  13. As a user experience designer.
  14. As a summer intern at the national museum, putting labels on taxidermied animals.