Sonnet 2 | Distort the Truth Like a Pretzel

(Written October 2, 2016)

1. ‘In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.’ And a crop of many one-eyed agents does not make for two-eyed kings.
2. The making and staging of victimhood.
3. I always knew Brangelina was a farce! I was never once taken in by their impossible beauty, humanitarianism and multiracial brood!
4. Places that sell mature, expensive cheese wheels seem kinda boring inside.
5. Can I feed that Woodstock sourdough to the ducks, please?
6. My leather ballet slippers molded to my feet after I washed them. They were so intimate with me.
7.  I am an amateur at pretty much everything.
8. Hydroponics is another thing I’m amateur at. Since most people make things in jars a lot these days, like beer, and, well, beer, I decided to grow something that was not so yeasty.
9. When you Google hydroponics, it becomes pretty clear that you can also grow your weed in there.
10. I was talking about basil, by the way.
11. Equivocation, doublespeak, triplespeak, circumspeak. Go on! distort the truth like a pretzel.
12. Like some Illuminati mess.
13. And that low, low sarcasm.
14. Deep breath before the plunge.